Wednesday, 7 November 2012

This Pretty Face

A new wrinkle today. Under my eye on the right hand side. Like a crease line from sleep which, when awake at 6.45, should have long settled down by noon. Here to stay then, and welcome not, to a face looking gradually older with each passing day.

In hospital - in the weeks and days before she died - Gran squeezed the hand of visitors who brightened her afternoon. I noticed then her hands - almost 91 - had the skin of a woman much younger in years. My own, dry from washing and neglected from lack of time, please me not, so a mental note then, to take more care.

Longer, with each passing year, to shrug the signs of wear. A blemish from a spot is slower to fade and scars take longer to heal. I look at my children - perfect in new skin - and see that I'm no longer the focus of the shot. A frame now - to hold and support and present these early days as best I can.

I accept the role. I admire my girl, I am proud of my son, I'll rub cream in my hands when I can. As the lines multiply around the eyes, I shall pick another mirror - in softer light - to apply more makeup and brush my hair. My husband ages just as me - in laughing photos from before our marriage, we remark that we look so young.

Yet a happier place to be. Stretched and blemished and perfect not. Loved and strong with a place in the world. I should not turn back the clock. My daughter grins a toothy smile, chubby cheeks and the brightest eyes. My darling girl. I'll trade my years of youth to smile upon you. Spring eternal in the face of a child. Welcome compensation for the compulsory price of age... x

6 comments:

  1. But still looking beautiful

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  2. Beautifully written. My husband's shaving mirror has shown me some frightful sights so I only now view my reflection when my contact lenses are out

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    1. I've had laser treatment so can't now take the contacts out and soften the blow! x

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  3. Wrinkles matter not when you are so loved and blessed to have your children. You'll get many more while you are making her memories. Whilst my girls grew to beautiful young women I grew the opposite way! But I tried to teach the girls while we were home educating that only little importance need be attached to looks. Love is far more worthy of our attention. You can read our stories here; http://rossmountney.wordpress.com But I wanted to say this is a beautiful post - enjoy your children and best wishes. x

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    1. Thank you Ross! You home educated - wow - what a journey that must have been... x

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  4. I try not to look too closely at my face, I think I'm in denial! A lovely post.

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